MY DEAR GRANDMOTHER

The greatest person on earth since Bhisma acharya... has now fulfilled her mission on earth. With children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren... she was the complete essence of an Indian grandmother, and some more. A strong woman who was a source of inspiration to many, she will be missed by all.

Janaki Bai (aka) Bhoomi: 28 November 1915 - 11 October 2011

EXCEL at EXCEL

Now if you think software are foolproof, you need to think again. For example, open Calculator (if you are using Windows) and do the following:


1. Press 4 and then square root.
2. You will see "2". Now, subtract 2. What do you see? Zero?


This is just one of the many examples of the "flaws" in various software programs. This post is dedicated to the seemingly flawless spreadsheet software, EXCEL.


Just take this SURVEY and see for yourself the hidden flaws and other error-prone operations in Excel. By the time you finish it, you would recognize some of the sources of common errors and some methods to rectify it.


You will be quite surprised by the flaws inherent in the programming of a software, and how it could affect your operations.



UPDATE: 


My work deals with large amount of statistical data on a daily basis. We use MS Excel for our computations and calculations. There are no programmers working in our company who could create fancy macros to deal with errors. Neither could I do it myself since I am not a programmer. Hence, it was important to find out how my co-workers identified errors on a spreadsheet and how they were able to improve at identifying errors once they were introduced to the error checking options that came with MS Excel.


The Survey (see link above) itself consisted of 10 exercises aimed at finding out how my co-workers and others identified errors in a spreadsheet. They were presented with scenarios which emphasized on identifying errors without any error checking tools, with the help of MS Excel error checking tools and also with extra error checking tools and their performance was recorded for each of these three scenarios. One of the exercises also contained designing a Macro with an implicit error and identifying/rectifying the error. In an effort to find out if they were comfortable with including error detection codes, they were also presented with a scenario where they had to include a single line of code to prevent MS Excel's precision errors.


Here's what I found from the survey:


1. None of the participants could identify all the errors in the sheet without the help of error checking tools
2. Participants were able to identify few errors but not all when presented with in-built error checking tools
3. 95% of the participants preferred using such tools once they became aware of their existence.
4. Column and row total comparison helped the participants identify all the errors on the sheet.
5. 98% of the participants said that they would use this option if available.
6. Participants could identify something missing in the macro exercise but they were not good at rectifying the error.
7. Majority of the participants were not willing to include lines of codes in their sheets to identify errors.


In conclusion, the results indicate the incompetence of people in finding errors on a spreadsheet that consists of statistical data and its computations. MS Excel provides error checking tools that do not suffice this need. They are rather tools to show arrows and markers on the sheets that illustrates the relationship between data cells and formula cells. Hence there is need for introducing more tools that assist people in finding errors on a spreadsheet involving huge amounts of statistical data.


Its really amazing, in my opinion MS Office is like an ocean- you will never find its end.

GUESS WHO'S BACK

...Just as the great man said. Thanks to my buddies for reminding me of this blog. More posts coming in the days ahead...

AMERICAN SPELLINGS

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, spells out the US pop artist Fergie in her hit number- a way to assert everybody that's how its spelt. More and more non-Americans are now using spellings like COLOR for COLOUR, ALUMINUM for ALUMINIUM, VIGOR for VIGOUR, CENTER for CENTRE, TRAVELER for TRAVELLER, etc. and pronounce "Z" as "ZEE", instead of "ZED". Americans reading this would not even understand what the fuss is about!

American English spellings are distinctly different than the rest of the world. It wasn't until late 18th century that this change came about in America. People from different parts of the world tend to have their own accents and meanings to words, which is understandable as migration and demographics make language to evolve constantly. The varied differences in Aussie English, British English, American English, South African English stand testimony to it. However, the spellings were the same across the globe. Surprisingly in America, it was just the effort of a certain Noah Webster which brought about drastic changes in the American English spellings.

Disillusioned with the schooling system in the 1780s where students studied from British books, Noah Webster thought that drastic reforms was necessary to impart education and to enhance the learning process. Perhaps the first patron of Americanization, he argued that Americans should learn from American books, which would be significantly different from the British. He believed that English language was too aristocratic in nature, and mired in pedantry. The common man should control the language, instead of royals.

He wrote a three volume compendium "A Grammatical Institute of the English Language", with the "Speller" being the first part. The Speller became very popular and it was the first ever published book in America. It taught students to read, write and to properly pronounce English words. It became the sole authority for English grammar and learning in America. It also popularized contests like SPELLING BEE, which is in vogue even today. In this book he also detailed the "Americanized" spellings for words. Words like Metre became Meter, Jeweller became Jeweler, Odour became Odor...

His dictionary also included 12,000 new English words unknown to the world. He hoped to standardize the English language in America. His idea was simple- English spellings are unnecessarily complex, and needs to be reformed. His dictionary contained all the Americanized spellings, and it has stayed on ever since in the US. What's more, its now catching up all over the world.

If Webster was the pioneer who brought about major reforms in English spellings to America, then today Bill Gates and Microsoft are bringing about this change to the whole world. How? A vast majority of word processing software used today is Microsoft Word, where the default language is US English. So every time we type in a non-US spelling, it highlights it as an error. Lazy that we are, we accept the American spellings instead of changing the MS-Word dictionary to UK English or some other English. Almost all the documents typed today are either done on Microsoft word, or other software which ALSO has the default language as US English. So in effect, the whole world is slowly evolving into using American terms and spellings for our day to day dealings. While the change may not be that evident, it surely is taking place albeit slowly. As long as people continue to use word processors for their documents and reports, this trend is unlikely to change.

There will be a day when words like THOU, CANST, THY etc. will be obsolete- even for poetry. The whole world is being Americanized!

Copyright: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nostri-imago/ / CC BY 2.0

CENSUS OF INDIA

India begins the largest ever democratic exercise in the world. About 2.5 million census-takers (mostly school teachers and government employees) began traveling across more than 630,000 villages and 5,000 cities in India to perform the task of counting India's population. The Registrar and Census commission of India holds census every 10 years (this is the 15th census of India) and provides vital information essential for future planning and administration of India.

For the first time ever, the census will include photograph and fingerprints of every individual. Also included in this census is the availability of drinking water, toilets, electricity, internet, bank and mobile phone usage, and the type of building material for houses. The painstaking task, spread over 11 months from today will also include beggars, homeless people, and people without proper residences- in a nutshell, it is promised to be a comprehensive picture of the myriad hues of life that is India.

Since finger-printing and photography will be taken into account too, a new system of creating a national identity card each with a unique identification number will be done. This would be the one single source of verifying the identity of a person. While this is common in developed countries, it is a very huge step in reducing the bureaucratic procedures for establishing one's identity in India. Presently, a mix of birth certificates, ration card, driver's license, credit card, PAN card, Tehsildar's letter, VAO's approval etc. are used in a garbled chaotic fashion, replete with bribes and red-tapism- all used to establish one's identity. A single identification number streamlines the process and would become the single most authoritative source to identify an Indian. The benefits of this are enormous, especially in India- this database can be used for policing purposes, medical purposes, administrative purposes, employment and taxation purposes, legal purposes, etc.

A lot of Indians are hopeful and positively optimistic of the whole process, including myself. However, provision should be made for non-resident Indians who constitute a significant chunk of the great Indian population mass of about 1.2 billion.

On a different note, today is the All fool's day. An earlier article on my blog about this day can be found here. Talking about fools, George Bernard Shaw was supposed to have said, "Cricket is a game played by 11 fools and watched by 11,000 fools". If he were alive today, the joke's on him as cricket is fast emerging as the most popular game in the world, second only to soccer. There, you can include it in the Indian census too- games people play/love.

Picture copyright: tinykingdom.com

TWO HUNDRED CHEERS FOR TENDULKAR

Thomas Jefferson asserted in the United States declaration of Independence, "All men are created equal..." Had he seen a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, he would realize how flawed his assumption was. All men are not equal. When you put Tendulkar in the equation, everything else becomes irrelevant. How many times have we sat down to express our gratitude to the little master? How many times did we have the "WOW" moment? How many times have we praised, adored, respected, prayed, idolized, loved, and cherished this diminutive Mumbaikar? And how many times more again? All those times, mere words were inadequate to express our emotions. And today, when Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar scored the highest individual score ever (200*) in a One Day International cricket match against South Africa, all the adjectives in the English language woefully fall short of capturing the moment.

He is a superman. A superstar. A superhero. That he would receive the Bharat Ratna some day is indubitable, and we are not even talking about that. He epitomizes the sum total of all of India's rise and fall for the past two decades. And some more. It is impossible to fathom this man's effect on the nation's psyche. And non-Indians would never truly understand what this man means to the billions.

Stock markets, shares and investments surge whenever he is in his elements- a feel good factor would inevitably descend upon Indians. A source of inspiration for millions, he is a citizen nonpareil. The aura around him is incredible and it rubs off onto others as we look up to him. No other person can influence India today as much as he does- and how does he do it? A man of few words to say the least, he has let his actions do all the talking, and how! He is the modern day Karma yogi, the perfect ambassador for anything Indian, be it ancient or modern. One could probably write a doctoral thesis on how he captivates the masses, the "Tendulkar effect".

Rewind 22 years back. On February 24th 1988 Sachin Tendulkar and Vinod Kambli amassed 664 runs in a world record stand, piling up agony on St. Xavier School. Exactly 22 years later, Sachin Tendulkar becomes the first man to score a double century in One Day Internationals. It would be just plain fanciful to associate record breaking events with the date (24th February). The 200 barrier was crossed nearly after 4 decades of one-day cricket. It was apt that Sachin Tendukar was the one destined to reach 200 runs first. People clamour for breathtaking performances from him over and over again, which he duly obliges everytime quite remarkably... but for me, I am just happy to see him.

"I would like to dedicate this to the people of India who have always stood behind me for these 20 years amid the ups and downs..."

I am so proud today that I belong to the same era and same country as Sachin Tendulkar! At this juncture, I am reminded of a popular Hindi film dialogue from the movie DON: Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin... na mumkin hai (It is not 'difficult' to catch the DON, it is just 'impossible').

Picture copyrights: Associated Press (both pictures)

AAJA NACHLE

Indian dance parties are notorious. Unlike western cultures, Indians can dance boy with boy and girl with girl, or a bunch of boys or girls.. and its perfectly normal, without being sidelined as gay. In that regard, I happen to witness and take part in a few dances myself. Gregarious groups in dance clubs or parties make the most noise, and it doesn't have to be a proper dance in the first place. As long as you appear to gel with the group and gyrate your bodies, you are in.

Though not properly choreographed, dance groups in Indian parties and discos have a few common rules.

1. There is usually some guy who is the leader of the pack, who dictates the mood of the group and formulates the dance steps.

2. If you are dancing to a Punjabi number, invariable your hands will go up in the air followed by rhythmic jerks, while one leg is up in the air trying to keep pace with your arms. Locking legs with each other while doing the hand twists in the air and revolving around is a popular variation. Some popular person will make a late entry and barge into the crowd making a "brrruuuaaaaaaaahhhh" noise, his 15 seconds of fame. The Bhangra is so simple and famous that invariably every dance ends up with this.

3. If the song is not with Punjabi beats, then it is a free for all- the group tries to create some sort of collective movement in unison. Probably this works for a few seconds before someone breaks off.

4. For the typical south Indian song, some variation of the "dappanguthu" will be employed by everyone. Even if they are blissfully unaware of what it is, the tune of the song will subconsciously move their bodies in a controlled chaotic motion. To explain the steps, bring your right leg and right arm forward and bend down, and then arch back standing on your left leg, with your left arm close to your body... and repeat.

5. Booze creates more energy and aggression.

6. Private parties are dictated by a core group doing a jig while others circle around the group clapping hands and gyrating in random fashion.

7. There's always a better song to dance, and the DJ is always wrong.

8. If you are not making a scene, you are not dancing- and there will be loud hoots, requests and threats for the "meek" person to join the fun.

9. You should embrace everybody, even though drenched in sweat.

10. Someone will get hit amidst the frenetic body movements (apparently "unintentionally", to settle old feuds).

11. Popular songs HAVE to be danced with the SAME STEPS as seen in the song video. And you MUST sing as you dance.

In many ways, this is good for people who don't know to dance. They still can have the bragging rights of "being there, and dancing". After all, it is excellent workout and opportunity for social bonding, while having a good time at it.