GLORIOUS BASTARDS

In the days of British imperialism, women were allowed on board on naval ships and wanton orgy and promiscuous behaviour resulted in many illegitimate children- many children born with questionable parentage. The children were conceived under the gun deck (and to militia men), thus those illegitimate children were called SON OF A GUN. A son of a gun or a bastard was a child born of parents who are not married to each other, and are ostracized and ridiculed by the society. In spite of the humiliation, a few of these bastards have climbed insurmountable odds to excel, and have shaped the lives of millions. I am not sure about Quentin Tarantino's Bear Jew and the band of "Inglourious Basterds" who scalped Nazis, but there sure were some glorious bastards who played an important role in creating history. So, this article is a tribute to those offsprings born on the "wrong side of the blanket" as the Chinese would say.

K'ung-tzu or Confucius as we know him today was a great philosopher and thinker of the Oriental world, whose teachings have greatly influenced Chinese, Korean, Taiwanese, Vietnamese and Japanese way of life for centuries. Confucianism is widely spread in these countries with followers as far as Europe too. However, his biological parents had an extramarital swing at odd ages- his mother was just a teen while his father was a very old man. Confucius was branded a "yehe", or a child born of illicit union. Yet, his fame reached out far beyond his humiliating birth.

The stigma of illegitimacy didn't spare rulers and monarchs. William the conqueror invaded England and brought Norman-French culture to England, changes to the English language, church reform, changes in trade, law, education, agriculture, royal administration, etc. He was the Duke of Normandy who had a seedy birth. While his father was Robert I, the duke of Normandy, his mother was the daughter of a tanner or an embalmer. He was greatly depressed about his birth, and he was known as William the Bastard (Guillaume le Bâtard), before people accepted him as the legal heir to the throne.

T. E. Lawrence was a British military officer who is well known for his liaisoning role during the Turk-Arab revolt during the First World War. His powerful writings, his wide ken of associations and activities had made him a cult figure, and increased the fetish love for anything Arabic among occidental diplomats. Lawrence of Arabia as he was known, was one of the five illegitimate children born to his "un-catholic" parents, his mother too being a bastard herself.

Leonardo da Vinci, the creator of Last Supper, Monalisa and other famous works is remembered today as a most versatile human being: He was a polymath who was adept at being a painter, philosopher, sculptor, engineer, mathematician, writer, inventor, architect, botanist, scientist, anatomist and musician. He was the perfect epitome of the renaissance man, whose multi-fared skills and insatiable curiosity readied medieval Europe into the Industrial revolution. This great soul was the son of a notary and a peasant girl, who might simply have had a "one-night stand" in a haystack producing Leonardo, before parting separate ways to different marriages. Leonardo totally had 17 half brothers and siblings, none too proud of their birth.

Two Argentinian villagers, Juan Duarte and Doña Juana had a steamy fling at each other and gave birth to Eva Perón. Evita, as she would be known, became a strong political figure in Argentina, heading the ministry of health, ministry of labour and social welfare, became the vice president of Argentina, Argentinian senate president and held other posts. She got the title, "Spiritual Leader of the Nation" by the Argentinian Congress, inspite of allegations of corruption and getting too cozy with Nazi war criminals. Yet, she remains a bastard who destroyed her birth certificate to hide details of her birth...

Alexander Hamilton was United States' first secretary of the treasury, and one of the founding fathers of the USA. He was also one of America's first constitutional lawyers. As a person who greatly shaped America's formative government policies, he was influential in creating America as we know it today. By his own accounts, he was born out of wedlock, the American way of saying, "illegitimate child" (Oh, these Americans!).

One of the greatest seductress in the American film industry, Marlyn Munroe's birth is veiled perhaps to avoid the stigma of illegitimacy. She was brought up in foster homes, not knowing who her father was. Likewise, queen Elizabeth I of England was declared illegitimate when she was barely 3 years old, after her mother (2nd wife of Henry VIII) was beheaded for not able to beget a male heir to the throne.

Born of an adulterous shenanigan between a farm labourer and a housemaid, Ramsay MacDonald became the illegitimate son who would become a British politician and hold the position of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, twice. He became the first Labour Prime Minister in 1924. The associated stigma of illegitimacy affected him, as the deeply conservative Presbyterian Scotland viewed illegitimacy with a vehement scorn.

Other famous personalities who were born of unmarried illicit sexual relationships include Henry Morton Stanley (famous explorer of Africa), Édith Piaf (France's greatest popular singer), James Smithson (Chemist, of Smithsonian Institute fame), Edward Gordon Craig (Show business and theatre), Helena Modjeska (Shakespearan actress), Sarah Bernhardt (actress), Vasily Zhukovsky (famous Russian poet), Howard Staunton (chess player, standardised chess as we know it today), Aleksandr Herzen (Russian writer and thinker, father of the Russian Socialism), Jenny Lind (Opera singer, known as the Swedish Nightingale), Stefan Banach (mathematician, founder of modern functional anaylsis), Ivan Pnin (Russian poet, political writer), and Leon Battista Alberti (Italian poet, priest, philosopher, architest, linguist and cryptographer).

31% of children born in Europe today are bastards, while in the UK it is 42%. The numbers can be high as 55% in Estonia to a low 3% in Cyprus. Illegitimacy stigma weighs down heavily on such people mainly because of society's attitude towards extra-marital sex and moral values proscribed by religion and society. Wanton, adulterous and promiscuous behaviour was very prominent in ancient Rome and throughout the medieval Europe. Some cultures have the opinion that children born of wastrel parents are destined to spread gloom and terror. Born of the seeds of passion and lust, it is opined that such children are a source of misery. This can be said true in the case of Adolf Hitler.

Hitler's paternal grandfather is contested by three people, Johann Georg Hiedler, his brother Johann Nepomuk Huttler, and Leopold Frankenberger. It is rumoured that Leopold Frankenberger's son had an affair with Maria (Adolf Hitler's grand mother) and the illegitimate son Alois could well be because of him- which gave a Jewish blood to Hitler as Leopold was a Jew! Hitler's father Alois is the illegitimate son of Maria, who could be linked to Johann Georg Hiedler as well. Alois married Anna and yet maintained a decadent life of a licentious nature, married Franziska Matzelsberger and then married Klara (who gave birth to Adolf Hitler). Hitler's mother Klara was the granddaughter of Hitler's step uncle (and possible father or biological uncle), Johann Nepomuk Huttler. If Nepomuk was Alois's father, Klara was his niece- if Georg was Alois' father, she was his first cousin once removed. It would seem that incest and promiscuous activity of Hitler's ancestors had given birth to a demon!

Picture copyright: (From top to bottom)
Confucius: Copyright expired (over 100 years), Public Domain-Art
Leonardo da Vinci: Istituto Comprensivo di Villa Lagarina, Public Domain-Art
Eva Peron: Unknown (over 25 years old), Public Domain
Ramsay MacDonald: by George Bantham Bain Collection, Public Domain